Valentines Day Pity Party: A Beginner’s Guide

I have something to admit to everyone.

I really don’t like Valentines.

Now, for those of you who are close to me, you might find this surprising since Valentines day is technically my birthday.  But I’ve never really liked this particular holiday because it’s become so commercial and disappointing for those single girls who just eat chocolates and throw them at the TV because they’re so insanely depressed.

Seriously.

Seriously.

Luckily for me, I married a romantic gentleman.  Except when it comes to flowers, because screw flowers apparently.  Alex’s view on flowers is the same as my mother’s: Why buy them when they’re going to die right away?

How stupidly insane, right?  Flowers are gorgeous.

But before I met Alex, I always spent Valentine’s day by myself, eating ice cream and just feeling sorry for my single self.  I have had a lot of friends who are the in the same boat and also, a lot of people I know now that are in that boat.

So I decided that I’m going to spend Valentine’s day like a single person.  With my husband.  And our mutual friend.

So here are the keys to having an absolutely pathetic, yet awesome, valentines day if you’re alone.

1. Bailey’s Irish Cream

This is a must have.  The thing about Bailey’s is that it is the best possible liquor out there.  And get the flavored stuff too, they have a great hazelnut one, or chocolate, or whatever.  Pour that all over your ice cream. Or drink it straight.  No matter what, you’ll feel great.

Bailey's and Ice Cream.  A heavenly combination.

Bailey’s and Ice Cream. A heavenly combination.

Speaking of ice cream…

2.  Minimum 1 pint of ice cream

Being single on valentines just isn’t the same without ice cream.  It’s practically mandatory to have ice cream.  I’ve found that Blue Bell I ❤ Chocolate is absolutely excellent for valentines considering it’s just tons of chocolate with chocolate hearts IN THE ICE CREAM!

3. Sweat pants

Since you’re most likely not leaving the house or even showering since this is a pity party, might as well be comfortable.  I say you should be wearing sweatpants, or maybe order yourself some footsie pajamas.

DO IT!  YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT EVER!

DO IT! YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT EVER!

4. Stupid movies

Letters to Juliet, The Holiday, Romeo and Juliet, are sweet, romantic movies, but this will just make you feel worse.  I suggest something much more stupid like This Is The End, Movie 43, The Break Up, We’re The Millers, or if you want to feel really good about yourself, may I suggest The Hunger Games, Kimjonilia, Seoul Train, Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead?  These last few will make you realize that you just have shitty first world problems and that Valentines day is awful.

Alex offered to take me out this year for Valentines, but I’m really digging the idea of a jar of Nutella and a bottle of whiskey.

So we’ll probably watch stupid movies and order take out while eating tons of ice cream and laughing at how romantic other couples are because we are no longer romantic in any way.

 

What do you do on valentines?  Anything mushy or exciting?  Maybe something more?  Put your thoughts in the comments below!

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