So I have been stressed lately and all I can think is “Oh, I wish I was a kid living at my moms again!” to which my mom laughed and said “no.” I think she said no because I can’t move back home because I’m messy and she’s super tidy.
I have no idea, but that’s probably the reason.
So I decided to make a list of why it’s AWESOME to be an adult. Then ten reasons on why it really sucks to be an adult.
Let’s start with the awesome list.
- I have no bedtime. Seriously. I can go to bed at six AM and wake up at six PM and it’s totally okay because I’m a mother fucking adult.
- I can ice cream for breakfast. I know this is a total fatty reason, but think about it. Growing up, your parents are like “YOU CAN’T HAVE ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST BECAUSE IT WILL ROT YOUR TEETH AND YOU’LL GET FAT!” Jokes on them! I’m already fat! And my teeth are so sensitive that I have to brush them all the time anyway! And ice cream is an excellent source of calcium. I don’t want osteoporosis when I’m older, so MORE ICE CREAM!
- I can drive now. I don’t have to ask my mom to drive me to the movies anymore. I can just get in the car and go to the movies. This would be higher on the list if I weren’t terrified of driving…
- I can live wherever I want! When I was 18 I moved to Alaska, now that I’m 23 I moved to Louisiana. Where to next? Germany you say? Japan? Anywhere I can afford.
- I don’t have to go to class anymore. I have this wonderful thing called online classes where I just write papers and send them in, getting college credit*
- I can have as many dogs as I want. I have two, but mom can’t tell me to give the neighbor dog back!**
- I can wear anything I want out of the house now. I go grocery shopping in pajamas all the time and I have this insanely ripped up hoodie that I wear all the time***
- Cut my own hair? Make my own clothes? The sky is the limit when you’re an adult!
- Dirty movies? Hell, you can own dirty movies or even make your own! (Though I strongly suggest against this, that is a horrible idea. Seriously, nobody would hire you if you did that. DON’T DO IT!)
- I can go outside when it’s pouring rain in shorts and a tank top, getting totally drenched, without my mom telling me to get back inside before I catch a cold. I know better now mom.
I feel like I’m targeting my mom quite a bit. To be fair, she is a typical mom. She worries about little things, but she’s very caring and warm. I love her lots. But I’m pretty sure the only reason she has gray hair is because I drive her absolutely batshit crazy. For example, “Don’t stick your hand in the garbage disposal!” she once told me. Pffft, as if I’d turn it on with my hand in it… maybe…
Ten reasons why it sucks to be an adult
- Bills. Fucking seriously. I have gray hair at the ripe age of 23 because of finances. I had no idea how stressful bills are.
- No mom to nag you about you doing stupid shit. I guess I should elaborate on this: I do a lot of stupid shit. I’ve picked up strangers in the middle of nowhere to give them rides home before, I’ve given money to hobos before, I cut full coverage of insurance on my car, to which I totaled it the next day. People usually have a little voice in their head to tell them not to do stupid shit, I had my mom doing that for me, and now that she lives a thousand miles away, I’m a little lost.
- Work. You’re saying that I have to work a dead end job that I hate until I’m 69 years old just so I can be broke as hell and work at wal-mart because my kids refuse to help me?
- No one to take care of you when you’re sick. Okay, this one is a little unfair. My mom would give me chores when I was sick. And my husband waits on me hand and foot when I’m sick, and I return the favor to him by giving him chores when he’s sick. He tells me I’m a bitch when he’s sick, I see it as making him stronger.
- Car maintenance. What do you mean my flux capacitor is broken? It’s going to cost HOW MUCH?!
- No bed time. Now, you probably notice that this is on both lists. The reason I have it on this list too is because when I was a teenager, I could drink a shitload of energy drinks and stay awake for four days and be like YEAH! I’M AWESOME! Now I need a pot of coffee just to function throughout the day without stabbing someone with a spoon. When I work full time, I have a ten PM bedtime. Sometimes.
- Your parents were right. It kills me to have to say that. Literally, part of my soul just shriveled up and died because I typed out that sentence.
- I feel like I’m still in High School. Except maybe more middle school because I enjoyed my high school years. When at school. The drama in the real world is just like middle school. There’s gossip, tragedy, “cheating,” just overall stupidity. High school never ends.
- The law. I can’t do stupid shit like putting laundry detergent into a fountain to make ten feet of bubbles (I did this in high school, it was awesome). Stupid pranks aren’t a no no anymore, they’re a fucking misdemeanor.
- It’s really hard to make friends. As an adult, going out and talking to people, you have a filter now that you didn’t have as a child. You have anxiety now, you have to pretend to be responsible, and it’s just overall annoying. I used to be social, now I just hide out in my house and watch cooking shows and crochet hats. And take full time classes.
*My college courses are not that easy. I do full time online school, where I spend upwards to 25 hours a week on homework, writing papers, reading discussion boards, watching archived classes while taking notes. It’s difficult, but I actually enjoy it.
**I never took the neighbor dog. But I could now if I wanted.
***If I wore this hoodie to my mom’s house, she’d burn it. It’s ripped up and falling apart and insanely comfortable. But if she saw it, she’d probably burn it.
So blogging community, what are your reasons on why it’s awesome/horrible to be an adult? I WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!
The next parts of my drive from Alaska to Louisiana will be posted later this week.