How I bought A Cookbook For A Gay Man

Back in February, I attended an absolutely beautiful gay wedding, but the day before I flew out, I had to buy a cookbook with Louisiana recipes in it for a friend of mine.

And I was looking for a wedding gift at Books-A-Million, but had no luck. Anyway, this is the story of how I totally and completely weirded out two innocent bystanders.

The day was a warm and sunny Louisiana day. Meaning it was way too hot and my hair was curly from the horrible humidity. Not going to lie, I’m pretty sure I used an entire tube of chaffing cream for my chub rub.

So I walked into the Books-A-Million and got a coffee, talked to the fabulously gay barista there then went over to the cook books in the “Local Cuisine” section looking for a Louisiana cookbook.

And there were none that I could find.

I began to panic a little, then decided that I needed to talk to the two gentlemen manning the customer service station.

I was surprised to see two huge jocks manning the counter. One of them had a soccer shirt on, and the other one was obviously in high school or fresh out of high school. They were good southern boys, smiling at me and saying, “How can I help you, ma’am?”

I walked up, and in a full Minnesota accent, began to tell them of my woes. “Hi there, I’m going to a gay wedding this weekend and I need a Louisiana cook book for the grooms.”

They both looked befuddled, so I went on to explain. “You know, a gay wedding. Not gay as in weird or happy, gay as in tips touching.” To which I proceeded to touch my two index fingers together, as if they were penises.

They both looked at me. “You know… tips touching… two guys?”

Finally one of them cleared their throat and said, “Uh, ma’am, what kind of book? We didn’t hear what you had said.”

That made a little more sense.

“A local cookbook.”

They looked like they were going to fight over who was going to help the crazy gay lady, but finally one of the guys led the way and found me an Emeril’s cookbook. Perfect.

“Thank you for helping me!” I told him.

“No problem… Have fun at that… Wedding?”

“Yes. A gay wedding.”

The guy walked away shaking his head.

I win at the internet.

Has anyone else totally and completely misunderstood what someone meant when they said “What?”  I want to know!

 

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Gay Weddings are Fabulous (Serious Post)

So first and foremost, I apologize for not having posted anything in such a long time.  I’ve been extremely busy, and I’m taking a few minutes to post a little thing about Gay Marriage.

This last weekend I attended my first gay wedding.  I’ve been to several weddings for cousins, friends, family, and the entire shebang.  They have all been beautiful, they have all been endearing, and some of them have lasted.

But this wedding I went to for my two very close friends was the most beautiful and emotional wedding I had ever attended. The minister was honest and good natured, the grooms very obviously loved each other when exchanging their vows, and it was just an overall wonderful wedding.  With awesome cake.

Attending a wedding like this, seeing a young couple so in love with each other, it just agitates me about how so many people are against gay marriage.  If anything, from what I saw, gay marriage is restoring the sanctity of marriage, not destroying it. 

Seeing them together, dancing, exchanging kisses, looking at each other like young lovers tend to, made my heart soar.  Seeing how their families supported them, how all of their friends and family had no judgment almost made me envious.  I had support for my marriage, but I had a lot of criticism from getting married in such a short span.  I was later criticized for marrying a military man, for people thinking I married him for nothing more than money and health insurance, but I’m sure that they will also encounter their own hardships, something I hope that I’m wrong about.

So here is my view on gay marriage.

Everyone should be allowed to get married to whomever they want.

Every person who gets married seems to get grief.  I also judge people getting married.  I think that eighteen year olds marrying their high school sweethearts are being stupid getting married, and they hear all the time how they’re not mature enough to be married.  I was told that I was marrying Alex for health insurance and because he was in the military.  My two friends will probably be told that their marriage will never be recognized by God.

But God will forgive murderers?

He will forgive pedophiles?

He will forgive mothers abusing and neglecting children, sometimes killing their children?

But God will supposedly not forgive two men for loving each other unconditionally?

Even from a nonreligious standpoint, two men loving each other is not affecting anyone’s marriage.  My two friends tying the knot gives me hope.  For two people who obviously love each other, they should be allowed to live their married life free of prejudice. 

And it’s not just them.  My uncle and his husband have been together for over twenty years, the only one on my father’s side of the family with a successful marriage.  My father and his older brother are divorced, but the youngest, the most successful, the well-adjusted kids, the happiest couple, is apparently wrong because my uncle is in love with a man.

If you are someone who does not think that two men or two women can’t make a happy life together, then please take a look at your own marriage.  I know more straight couples who are miserable in their marriage than gay couples, I have met couples who hated each other for years, but apparently it was okay for them to have abusive relationships, or neglectful, or generally unhappy because it was accepted.  This is a sad society where a miserable straight couple who hate each other and abuse their children is more acceptable than a gay happy couple with children well adjusted.

This is a sad society we live in, and it is something that needs to be changed.

To my friends who got married, I love you both, and I wish you years and years of happiness.  I wish you a life free of prejudice, and a life full of laughter and a life full of love.  I wish you everything that I wish for anyone who ever gets married for the one thing every human being on this earth yearns for: Love.

For those of you who wish to comment, if you comment telling me how against gay marriage you are or how you disagree with everything I have to say, do not bother commenting.  They will be deleted.  I will not tolerate negative comments on a topic such as this.

Thank you for reading.