So this happened.
Me: Alex, I may have to leave you.
Alex: Alright, I’ll bite. What happened?
Me: All these sweet talkers are just sweeping me off my feet.
Alex: Oh? What are they saying?
Me: Twice today, I had someone say to me, “Damn girl, dat ass is fine.”
Alex: Oh man.
Me: I know, right? How do I resist the charms of “Dat ass is fine?” Also, “Damn girl, gimmie yo’ number.”
Alex: I totally understand if you leave. I can’t compete with that.
Me: They must have been pretty confident too, considering nobody would even stand up when they hit on me.
Alex: Damn, I have no idea how I can ever compete with that.
Me: I know. I’m sorry, but those sweet talkers are just too irresistible.
Alex: Did they even mention dem tits?
Me: Nope, just dat ass.
Alex: What did they do when you said you were married?
Me: Well, one guy just got up and left. No sorry, no apology, nothing. Second I said married, he walked out. The other guy said, “Well damn girl, if that ever changes you look me up.”
Alex: Well at least they gave up once you pulled the marriage card.
Me: Yeah, because apparently touching a married woman is worse than telling them about dat fine ass.