My Dog is MenoPAWSal

So a couple weeks ago, Sahara wet the bed.

This may seem weird, because dogs are sometimes eager to make our lives hell, and Sahara has a nasty habit of waking me up early in the morning by putting her head on my ear and whining very quietly, but just enough to make me want to break a window.

Right before falling asleep.  Alex is on the bed next to her.

Not my fault, mom

However, she never, ever has accidents in the house.  And she had it while she was sleeping… on our bed.  I discovered it at two in the morning.  When we moved her, there was a big spot of pee, and she looked just as confused as we were.  So we took her outside and she went potty.

Since then, she’s been having to go outside more and she’s been a little lethargic.

Since her annual visit was due, I took her into the vet and mentioned it to the vet.

When I mentioned to the vet about her lethargy and her one time wetting the bed, he asked me how old she was.  I told him that she was a stray in the Alaska bush and we had an inkling that she was between five and nine years old.  At least that’s what the vet in Alaska said.

He saw that she was spayed, and gray around her muzzle, and told me that she’s going through menopause.

What. The. Fuck.

Dogs go through menopause?

Spayed dogs go through menopause?

I was so confused, that the vet decided to explain it to me.

While it wasn’t exactly menopause, spayed females have no hormones so they can lose bladder control, especially if they’ve had puppies before.  I asked my mom if she has bladder problems from menopause and babies, and she told me way too much information, so I figured Sahara was going through something similar.

So, the vet told me that if the bed wetting continues, I should bring her back and we’ll put her on hormones.  Because my menopausal dog was hormoneless.  We had to make her hormonal.

When I got home, Alex asked how the vet appointment went.

Me: Well, Sahara has menopause.

Alex: You mean… meno-PAWS?!

Me: Sure.  Menopaws.  She might have to get hormones

Alex: Will she get weepy and complain that her kids are leaving the house?

Me: I don’t know—

Alex: Is she going to start eating ice cream out of the carton and cry at stupid movies, then forget where she is and get angry with her mood swings?

Me: I DON’T KNOW! I JUST KNOW THAT SHE’S GOING TO BE MOODY AND PEE EVERYWHERE!

So I rubbed Sahara’s belly and reminded her that she probably ate her puppies and that Luna wasn’t going to go anywhere because Luna hates going outside when it’s hot.

Because I’m a damn good doggie mom.

Have you ever had an instance where you found out something that seemed horribly implausable?  Do you have a dog who is at risk for going into menopause?  Any ideas how to take care of a moody dog?  Let me know in the comments!

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3 thoughts on “My Dog is MenoPAWSal

    • When we got her, they said she was between 3 and 7 years old. That was two years ago, so she’s between five and nine. We’re thinking she’s more like 8 or 9. She’s a grumpy girl.

      And it’s not sad as it is annoying. She’s very insistent on knowing that she’s moody.

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