All Hail The Lord (Cthulu)

Alex’s best friend was luckily stationed with us here in Louisiana.  Last year, he had to get shoulder surgery because the military messed up his shoulder so bad that he could no longer lift his arms higher than… Well, his shoulder.

Since there are no military hospitals near us, they sent him to a catholic hospital.  When he told us this, we couldn’t help but laugh, because this particular friend is a very avid atheist.  He doesn’t throw it in our faces ever and is incredibly respectful to those who are religious, but it’s not his bag.  Which makes religious debates with him incredibly interesting and not blood thirsty.

He’s also quite a troll.  He loves to just stir the pot on stupid stuff to make others look stupid, which has two side effects: It’s incredibly hilarious to watch him talk to people, or situations get awkward.

Such a troll.

Such a troll.


When he was admitted to the catholic hospital, he was given a series of questions to answer, and he told us all about it.  The military first said that he was faking the pain in his shoulder, but they later found that he had huge air bubbles in his shoulder, showing that he was not faking it. The doctors were even surprised at how much pain he must have been in.

Anyways, getting off topic.

When he went in for the surgery, the doctors started asking about references and people to call in case things went south.  The last question the doctor asked caused his troll tendencies to expel in the strongest manner possible.

Doctor: So, what religion are you?

Friend: Cthulu is my lord and savior.  All hail Cthuhlu.

All shall bow down.

All shall bow down.

The doctor, without skipping a beat, begins to write and speaks outloud as he’s writing.

Doctor: Athiest.

Right as they were starting to put him under, the doctor and assistants, nurses I guess, all joined hands around him and said a prayer.

Here’s how it went down, according to the Troll.

Doctors: Heavenly father—


Doctors: We ask that you guide us safely through this surgery to ensure that this young man comes out stronger.  We ask this in your name—


Doctors: Amen.

He said that shortly after they put him under and he woke up with his shoulder in great shape.  He can even move his arms above his head again.  Which is a relief.

He said he had Cthulhu to thank.

Do you know anyone who is a troll?  Ever have an experience that made others incredibly dumbfounded and weirded out by the stupid shit you say?  Tell me in the comments!

9 thoughts on “All Hail The Lord (Cthulu)

    • I love religious debates. As long as they’re with people with an open mind. I hate when people tell me JESUS IS THE ONLY SAVIOR AND YOU’RE GOING TO HELL OTHERWISE!

      But I love when trolls stir the pot. Then I usually just sit back and enjoy the show 🙂

  1. A lot of the hospitals down here are religious too. Specifically the one where I had my heart surgeries. I am also an atheist. But I do not stir the pot or troll people. Unless I have to get bitchy and then I have zero problems getting bitchy. But at my hospital they kept trying to send the chaplain over to see me and I would just crack up every time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s