The Broken Foot: Tales of a Crazy Biatch Pt 3

If you have not read the adventures of Marjorie yet, read this and this first.

Marjorie came in to work one day wearing a foot boot cast thingy ma bobber.  I have no idea what they’re called, it’s this thing.

DAS BOOT!

DAS BOOT!

This happened a couple days after her miscarriage, and she stated that she was just in so much pain.  Her son broke her foot.

Her four year old son.

Lifted up a dresser.

And dropped it on her foot.

Okay, to be fair, she said she was getting after him, with her foot under the dresser, telling him to put it down.

And he dropped it on her foot and shattered her foot.

Pretty sure her kid was more muscular than this

Pretty sure her kid was more muscular than this

I don’t know about all of you, but I’m a 24 year old who considers herself fairly strong.  I can lift heavy things by myself, but Marjorie had some nice furniture.  Like, furniture I could only afford on a salary of cleaning out men from being married several times in four years.  If I were rich, I could afford a marble top table. Maybe.

Nice furniture is also usually close to a thousand fucking pounds.

I’m fairly strong, I lift weights, and there is no way in hell I can lift a dresser that is filled to the brim with clothing.

And her four year old was somehow able to lift this dresser high enough that when it fell down on her toe, it shattered her toe.

I want to know if this kid dropped this dresser five feet from the ground.

Either way, she wore the boot for at least a week.  I don’t quite remember…

The point being, either her kid was a body builder four year old, or he was imaginary and she dropped it on her own foot, if her foot was even broken.

But fear not… There’s more…  Later on this week.

 

Do any of you have any ridiculous stories as to how you broke a bone?  Has the coworker you worked with just been crazy and possibly a pathological liar?  Tell me in the comments!

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11 thoughts on “The Broken Foot: Tales of a Crazy Biatch Pt 3

  1. I had been lucky to never have broken a bone until my 30s.

    I was taking martial arts and it involved a lot sparring. After a sparring session I noticed my left hand was throbbing quite bad. When I looked at it, my ring and pinky fingers were dangling…ouch. My instructor looked at it, thought they were disclocated and tried to pop them back into place. Needless to say, popping broken fingers hurts “like a mo fo.” So he taped them up and I finished the last hour of class.

    Finally 3 hours after I broke them I finally get to the doctors. Not only did I break them but I also severed the tendons.

    To this day they still ache anytime a storm front rolls through or in cold weather!

  2. I broke my pinky playing with a pogo ball (80s toy) when I was 12. Embarrassed about the splint, I didn’t take care of it when the doc told me I needed to wear it longer so now I have a bent pinky. I also have a bum hand, which I wrote a story about and must post (thanks for the reminder!) But burns are worse than breaks and at 17 years old, I reached over a boiling pan of fried chicken to grab something, t-shirt caught the edge of the pan, turned around and BOOM! The entire pan landed on the floor. Luckily, it only got my right toes and luckily I was wearing thick socks, but it hurt like nothing I could ever describe–different from childbirth, but on the same scale. It got my toes and I still have the scars today. Every time I look at them, I wince. As for pathological co-workers… Oh my, I could go on & on, but I’ve rambled enough. Funny post!! xoxo

  3. FYI that bodybuilder kid is grown now and isn’t that ripped anymore.

    I cracked a pinky finger in middle school… it was really a bummer because I was workin’ skills during the flag football game right at that moment. Because I had to have a splint put on it, that meant I was cooling my heels in the library during P.E. time for a few months or so.

    It was nothing compared to this young dude in one of my classes that kept breaking his arm over and over.

    • Bahahahah. I felt the picture was appropriate though.

      I broke both of my arms growing up. Six months apart. Left arm from rollerblading down the driveway, right arm ice skating. Fell the exact same way, just switched arms!

      Never broke any other bones though :/

      • Yeah, he was iconic for what he did as a little kid, but I watched a video later where he’d leveled off by 18, or something like that. I think it’s good, really; I was interested in bodybuilding (still am, really) and I was really dismayed at how freakishly unhealthy and physically distorted some of the pros got. Ugly stuff. Like anything, it can be carried to a terrible extreme.

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