Heffalump For Sale

We recently acquired a foster dog.  His name is Patch.

He's a derp.

He’s a derp.


First, let me tell you about Patch.

He was found off of Old Mooringsport Road in Shreveport, apparently a popular dog dumping ground.  A friend of ours saw him and saw that he was a pretty skinny little dude and picked him up and took him to the vet.  He’s severely underweight, but extremely fluffy.

Alex and I are major dog lovers, having two of our own dogs.  Since our friend was trying to sell his house, he couldn’t be showing his house when he had this guy putting his nose in everything.

So we offer to take him in.

He’s an interesting dog, to say the least.  While he’s extremely loveable, he’s also extremely mischievous.

The other day, we decided to grill some spicy sausage.  Alex, who is known to go above and beyond in the cooking, somehow grilled these sausages to look like the picture on the package.  And they were fully cooked.

Pretty sure Alex is a wizard.

But as we were eating dinner in the living room, Patch, Luna and Sahara decide to investigate the last sausage in the kitchen.

Now, I have no idea how he got onto the counter, or how he reached it.  But he grabbed the sausage and swallowed it.  And he took two bites of it.

I called the vet, thinking it would be fine and found out that spicy sausage can kill your dog.  So we take him to the vet.

Since we got him there less than twenty minutes after he ate the sausage, they were able to just give him a shot so he’d vomit.

Lo and behold, he vomited the sausage… in two perfect pieces.  With the grill marks still on them.

I wasn’t even mad anymore.  I was impressed.

Now whenever he wants something off the counter he sits next to it and howls.  I guess he’s asking about it now.

And he lets me put socks on his face to make him look like a Heffalump.

Looking back, I don't think he liked it too much.

Looking back, I don’t think he liked it too much.

Alas though, he is a foster dog.  While he is a sweet dog who cuddles me all the time, he is not our dog.  He doesn’t even quite feel like he belongs to us.

So, internet, if anyone who is within 100 miles of Shreveport, LA, is reading this and are interested in adopting him, or know someone who would be interested in adopting him, please feel free to contact me at transplantedtothesouth[at]gmail[dot]com.  He is free to a good home!


Ever have a dog do something that just impressed you when they were being disobedient?  Do you have a heffalump?  Let me know in the comments!

3 thoughts on “Heffalump For Sale

  1. I’m more impressed by Alex’s wizard-y cooking skills. Nothing I cook ever looks good. It tastes good. But my presentation sucks.

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