Elvis Hates My Vagina

I’m finding more time to blog since I threw out my back a few days ago, enjoying the plethora of pain killers given to me by the doctor, so I figured I’d write a blog post for y’all.

 

This is the story of how I met an ancient Elvis and how he decided that my Vagina was not good enough for him.

When I was working one day, I was doing my usual wonder woman thing, when I heard on the intercom, “Someone from donations is needed for a carry out.”

Since I work in donations, I figure I can go up to the front and help them carry out whatever object they need.  Before grabbing the dolly, I decide to see just how big the object is.  Usually it’s something small like a chair that’s around ten pounds, so I don’t worry about it too much.

I walk out and the girl who paged me pointed to this old man by the TVs.  He was tall, about 90 years old, but had Elvis hair.

Except way older

Except way older

The man looks at me, and says one sentence that makes me want to lose my temper.

“Oh geez, why the hell did they send a woman to lift up this old tv?  Women can’t lift for shit.”

I felt my eye twitch and I say to him, “Sir, I’m Midwestern.  I can lift the tv you need.”

He then begins to argue with me.  “No you can’t you’re a woman.  Women can’t lift. I’ll just do it myself if they can only send a woman.”

To which he reaches over to lift up a 6” screen tv, that weighed maybe ten pounds, and he carries it to the front of the store with no effort.

I stood there, unamused and confused.

Did Ancient Elvis just tell me that I can’t lift something because I have a uterus?

Thanks Elvis.  Thanks for thinking my vagina is not suitable for lifting.

Ever been discriminated against because of your dirty bits?  Ever been told you can’t do something because of something you can’t help?  Let me know in the comments!

 

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9 thoughts on “Elvis Hates My Vagina

  1. Well fuck that shit. I grew up in a home where ALL the women were strong. When I got married, this only continued: Cimmorene fixes most things around here ‘cept minor electrical work– that she leaves to me. Was trying to find the applicable post but… later, I guess

  2. You know….I saw online that they make something called vaginal weights (don’t ask me what I was searching for or how I found the website). Maybe you need to get some of those and get your vajayjay in shape so it’s ready to lift the next 10 pound television, or squeeze the life out of chauvinistic men 🙂

  3. Have you ever read stories about women participating in sports back in the “good old days?” There is a really interesting one about the first woman to run in the Boston Marathon. It wasn’t very long ago either. It’s pretty shocking.

    You know, since our vaginas make us unable to function, especially since we aren’t really the same species as the menfolk.

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