Anyone Craving Tacos?

So recently I’ve been on this super healthy diet which has caused me to lose 20 pounds in 7 weeks and go down a pant size, a shirt size, and my belly skin to be super elastic and cottage cheesy.  It’s kind of weird and awesome all at once.  I have the absolute sexiest muffin top around.

Add about 100 pounds and more cellulite and SEXY MAMA IS HERE TO PARTY!

Add about 100 pounds and more cellulite and SEXY MAMA IS HERE TO PARTY!

But a few weeks ago, I was just craving hard shell tacos.

I know, weird craving right?

No, I’m not pregnant.  I just wanted Tacos more than anything else in the universe.

But I had to keep it healthy.  Corn tortillas are healthier than flour tortillas, especially since I was trying to be low carb and low gluten for my diet.  So I made this slow cooker pork taco meat with lots of black beans, and I was trying to find a way to bake these corn tortillas.  Since I was struggling so horrifically, I decided to go everywhere in Shreveport to find a taco shell baker.

I thought that this would be super easy to find, considering Shreveport has just about every type of store imaginable.  I tried World Market, Target, Wal Mart, even a few local businesses, but to no avail.  I was getting frustrated.  Finally, I asked some random people where they thought I could find a magical device that could bake corn tortillas into perfect taco shells.

The guy at World Market told me there were four Mexican groceries in Shreveport.  So I went on a search for one of these magical Mexican groceries.

TWO HOURS LATER I finally found one.  Less than two miles from my house.  I was in the entirely wrong part of town.  Apparently I live right next to little Mexico.  I never even noticed.  Seriously.

I was nervous walking in there, so I stood outside and saw that it was a hole in the wall Mexican store.  The sign said “Fresh Tacos” and a bunch of stuff in Spanish that I couldn’t understand.

I walked in and everyone in the store was middle aged and Mexican.  From what I heard, they also didn’t speak English.  I heard no English spoken.  All five people in the store stared at me like I was a leprechaun or something.

What... The... Fuck...

What… The… Fuck…

So I start to peruse around the store, finding tortilla presses, tortilla salad bowl makers, tortillas, a bunch of different spicy candies… You know, lots of stuff that I would have no idea how to use.  The people in the store watched me very carefully.

Finally, after a few minutes, I walk up to the counter and the man behind the counter, who is very obviously from the homeland, says in a perfect, southern accent, “Hello Ma’am, how can I help you?”

I stared at him in total disbelief for a few seconds.  I almost got pissed from how surprised I was.  “Uh, yeah, I need a tortilla baker or warmer.”

Then he started speaking Spanish to me.  “Ah, si, ma’am we have tortilla warmer.  We have tortilla maker.  You no know how make tortilla though.  Here, this one is sombrero tortilla warmer.”  To which he handed me this weird Sombrero warmer.

I don’t remember exactly everything he said because every other word was Spanish, but I remember chasing him across the store trying to keep up with his frantic running.  I had to give him credit, he was trying to be very helpful. I ended up buying 100 corn tortillas for four dollars, because I felt bad not buying anything.  Then it wasn’t enough for my debit card so I bought a bottle of carbonated water to make it five.

Got home, used my muffin tin and made super weird shaped tortillas.

[              I then called my friend Val, who was raised by parents who were Mexican and she was raised with English as a second language.  I told her next time I’m calling her to translate for me, and she said no.

So that’s how I ended up with far too many tortillas and making tacos every night for a week.

And I’m still eating those damn tortillas.

Tacos, anyone?

 

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11 thoughts on “Anyone Craving Tacos?

  1. I’m thinking that maybe you could fold those tortillas in half on a baking sheet and put a spoon or something in each one to keep the top open a bit and then just bake them until they harden up? Might not be perfect, but you’ve got 100 tortillas to experiment with, right?

    What I REALLY want to know is what kind of super diet are you on? I super impressed with your results, as I am struggling to take off about 20 pounds.

    • Haha, its a mix of weight watchers, a Paleolithic diet, and seeing a personal trainer.  Im always hungry and tired.  And I found a tortilla baker online that works GREAT

      Sent from my Galaxy S®III

  2. Que interestante. We looked into something that does baked flour tortilla shells.

    I guess we should look into this rack you linked to. Cimmy and I shop at a Mexican supermercado all the time, and they have loss-leader coupons for large amounts of corn tortillas All. The. Time. Most of the employees are bilingual, but they are nice and let us practice our Spanish anyways. I am reasonably fluent, but Cimmy– not so much– and she is making a real effort to learn.

    Dive further in to that grocery, Leah. Latino immigrants actually eat pretty healthy when they aren’t frying with pig lard (which is old school for European culture too, actually)– lots of produce. There is a slow embrace of processed food with the middle class but if you look in the right places, Latino cuisine (not just Mexican) actually isn’t too bad. (Tamales, Leah, seriously. Tamales.) I cook Mex quite a bit, so, ask me, if you’re feeling plucky.

    Cimmy just mostly loves talking to the nice older ladies that offer her freshly made corn tortillas. One of these days she’ll buy masa and make some, or tamales, but she doesn’t want all that work just yet.

  3. I get the WORST cravings all the time. Seriously, all the time. I don’t know what it is. I am probably not getting the right nutrients.

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