How I bought A Cookbook For A Gay Man

Back in February, I attended an absolutely beautiful gay wedding, but the day before I flew out, I had to buy a cookbook with Louisiana recipes in it for a friend of mine.

And I was looking for a wedding gift at Books-A-Million, but had no luck. Anyway, this is the story of how I totally and completely weirded out two innocent bystanders.

The day was a warm and sunny Louisiana day. Meaning it was way too hot and my hair was curly from the horrible humidity. Not going to lie, I’m pretty sure I used an entire tube of chaffing cream for my chub rub.

So I walked into the Books-A-Million and got a coffee, talked to the fabulously gay barista there then went over to the cook books in the “Local Cuisine” section looking for a Louisiana cookbook.

And there were none that I could find.

I began to panic a little, then decided that I needed to talk to the two gentlemen manning the customer service station.

I was surprised to see two huge jocks manning the counter. One of them had a soccer shirt on, and the other one was obviously in high school or fresh out of high school. They were good southern boys, smiling at me and saying, “How can I help you, ma’am?”

I walked up, and in a full Minnesota accent, began to tell them of my woes. “Hi there, I’m going to a gay wedding this weekend and I need a Louisiana cook book for the grooms.”

They both looked befuddled, so I went on to explain. “You know, a gay wedding. Not gay as in weird or happy, gay as in tips touching.” To which I proceeded to touch my two index fingers together, as if they were penises.

They both looked at me. “You know… tips touching… two guys?”

Finally one of them cleared their throat and said, “Uh, ma’am, what kind of book? We didn’t hear what you had said.”

That made a little more sense.

“A local cookbook.”

They looked like they were going to fight over who was going to help the crazy gay lady, but finally one of the guys led the way and found me an Emeril’s cookbook. Perfect.

“Thank you for helping me!” I told him.

“No problem… Have fun at that… Wedding?”

“Yes. A gay wedding.”

The guy walked away shaking his head.

I win at the internet.

Has anyone else totally and completely misunderstood what someone meant when they said “What?”  I want to know!

 

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Questions, comments or concerns?  I have an email now!  Transplantedtothesouth@gmail.com is my official email for this blog.  Feel free to email me anytime about anything in regards to my blog!

 

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5 thoughts on “How I bought A Cookbook For A Gay Man

  1. I am so happy to see you posting. I missed you. In a non-creepy way. People always misunderstand both what I am saying and my ‘accent.’

    • Hahaha I quit my second job so now I’m just a full time student and donation attendant. It’s nice having my evenings so I can actually post.

      And I’m always happy to read your posts. Any suggestions for a new post?

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