Spoiler: He Didn’t Donate Kitchen Wares

So I’ve been working as a donation attendant at a certain thrift store, which strangely enough, I freaking love. It’s a really nifty job because I get to sort through people’s stuff that they may or may not have wanted to donate.

And we get some really weird stuff. For realz.

I’m pretty sure this counts as weird

But there was one day that was particularly interesting to say the least.

I was in the donation area of the outside of the building, catching some sun. Enjoying the absolutely horrifically hot weather. When a guy drove up, his wife in the car, and he practically shoves this HUGE box into my arms.

“Thank you for your donation sir,” I said to him, muffled from behind the box.

“We just got out of the military and we don’t need our kitchenware anymore, so I figure you guys can use it,” he said, giving me a wolfish grin and walking back to his car, where his lovely wife was playing on her smartphone.

I thought nothing of this. Very normal. The box was a big plastic bin with the lid and it was marked “KITCHENWARE” so I figured that there was nothing fishy about it.

So I brought it to where we sort the donations and handed it off to a volunteer that was working that day. He took it, anxious for something to do, and I began to walk off when I heard him call out to me.

“Uh, Ms. Leah? I think you need to see this.”

I walk over and I realize that this man did not donate a box full of kitchenware.

He donated a box full of sex toys.

And I don’t mean a little box with two or three things. I mean, he donated a huge tote of sex toys.

And it had everything you could and could not imagine

Our box was way bigger than this

 

The box that was donated to us had costumes, whips, dildos, vibrators, different sexy games, lingerie… basically anything and everything you could imagine.

Me and the volunteer just stared at the box for a few minutes, unsure of what to do next.

Finally, I decide it would be a good idea to tell my manager.

While he was in the room with two very prude women.

Who were also managers.

As you can imagine, the results were hysterical. Too funny for words. To say the least, the entire situation was horribly awkward.

 

So to date, that is the best donation story I’ve got from working at a thrift store for six weeks.

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15 thoughts on “Spoiler: He Didn’t Donate Kitchen Wares

  1. haha! That is awesome, I hope you didn’t handle those without several layers of latex gloves on…or just throw the entire box into an incinerator…don’t want the homeless picking through that in a dumpster now do we.

  2. This brings up so many unanswered questions: Why did military man and his wife decide they didn’t need sex toys and props anymore? Were they getting divorced or did they periodically spice things up by buying all new toys? Did he donate the box strictly for the shock factor — or did he really think that there was a thrift store market for used dildos? I guess we’ll never know — but I’ll be pondering for awhile.

      • At the risk of my better judgment and civility, I’d say they were foolish.

        I feel no shame in saying that the Hitachi Magic Wand is a wonderful product, and Cimmy and I have one and thought it was worth the investment. It’s simply a corded massager, although typically it isn’t used for general massage. Still, it’s not conspicuous and our daughter knows what it is.

        I’m not really a fan of trying to shelter children, and neither is Cimmy. We think it good practice to measure out answers to kids’ question in the amount and manner they’re able to understand. She’s been given enough information appropriate to her age and I don’t think I’d have to worry even if she decided to find my jelly battery-powered vibrator.

        Teaching children propriety is fine– shame– no, I don’t think so.

  3. I always wonder what to do with my unwanted sex toys. There really should be some kind of recycling program where they are sterilized, repaired, tested for defects in some sort of simulator (which sounds like the funnest job ever!) and then re-sold. Like a certified pre-owned vehicle. It’s good for the environment!

    • Heh. I’m sure you’ve heard bleaching is the best way. Don’t ask me how I know, but the words “gay” and “nurse” should get you in the ballpark.

      But I would not be surprised that most organizations would not accept them out of legalities, policy, and probably also principle.

      • *sigh* There are disinfectants labeled to kill bacteria and viruses, including HIV. Your aversion is emotional, not logical. It’s like fears on irradiated food (scientific concerns focus more on destruction of nutrients– raw bananas are radioactive on their own with the potassium), eating insects (much of the non-Western world eat them as protein sources– and shrimp and lobster aren’t too far removed), and stirring your hot beverage with a new comb.

        That’s not to say I recommend reusing sex toys– I’m saying after I mention proper sterilization techniques, expressing fear and disgust over some random disease is irrational. We encounter far more of them at the gym and at the office– including e coli. Sex toys are probably low on actual disease concerns.

        My concerns are more that they were likely poorly made. You get something good, you don’t just chuck it away so quickly– and you keep it sterilized and otherwise clean.

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