So I’m pretty sure a politician used to live in my house, and hear me out.
Since living in my house, we have had a lot of really weird occurrences happen, from weird phone calls to people actually knocking on our door.
About a month after moving to my house, an army sergeant knocked on my door, looking for a young man who had recently signed his life away, but had disappeared off the face of the earth. He listed my house as his residence. Apparently it was the son of the people who used to rent my house. I told the sergeant that he had the wrong house, and he showed me the papers of the person who enlisted and it very specifically had my address. After telling the sergeant several times that these people had moved and I had only been living there for a month, he gave me a lanyard and thanked me for my time. I saluted him in a joking manner, and he laughed and left.
Today, we had an Asian woman knock on our door, a van full of people behind her, asking if an Asian family lived at our house. What I thought was strange is that my 6’6” husband, who is very not Asian, was the one answering the door and told her, “No, no Asian family lives in this house.” The woman looked confused and left.
After we got our house phone, the phone rang one day and my husband answered it and a man started to yell at him on the phone.
“YOU SON OF A BITCH! IF YOU EVER SLEEP WITH MY WIFE AGAIN I’LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!”
“Sir I think you have the wrong number—,” my husband started to say, but was immediately cut off.
“I DON’T HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER! YOU GET IN CONTACT WITH MY WIFE AGAIN AND YOU’RE A DEAD MAN!”
“I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOUR WIFE IS!”
He hung up the phone, extremely confused.
The next week we had a message on our answering machine. Honestly, I wish I would have saved the message, because we were laughing so hard at it. We listened to it quite a few times, so I think I have the exact wording of it correct.
“Hey baby, look, you can’t call my house phone or this phone number anymore, my wife will be catching on. Do not call this phone number ever again, if you want to hook up again message me on facebook. Can’t wait to hear back from you.”
There have also been bill collectors calling our house looking for the previous habitants, and while we keep insisting that they aren’t here anymore, we still seem to get an assload of calls.
I thought church goers were honest folk. Huh.