I Have Simple Goals, I Just Complicate Them

While working the Zombie Bowling Event at my work earlier this week, I had a little time to think about where my life is going.  I get fairly good grades in school, but I realize more and more that I would like to not be a cook.  I also realize that many people do not have the same intelligence level I do, and it’s frustrating.

So when I got home, I decided to make a list of goals.  Probably not my best idea.

After I was done cleaning at my work tonight, I went to my coworker and told her “When Alex is out of the military, I’m buying eighty fucking acres of land, putting barbed wire around my entire fucking property, and I’m going to stand in my fucking yard naked every day because nobody will fucking see.”

This will be my house, but more trees and less people.  And more nakedness.

This will be my house, but more trees and less people. And more nakedness.

She responded with, “Or you could just join a nudist colony and be naked all the time and it being okay.”

“But then I might be looking at people like you, and I would feel awkward being naked around super hot chicks.”

She smiled, unable to retort my comment because we both know that she’s insanely hot.

But I have decided that when either my husband is out of the military or when we win the lottery, I’m buying 80 acres of land.

I’m building a house in the middle of it.

I’m going to stand naked in the middle of the yard.  Every fucking day.

And if my best friend calls and says “Hey!  I want to paint naked in your yard!” which is TOTALLY what artists do, I think, I can call her back and be like “You can paint naked in my yard because there’s nobody near my fucking yard.”

Best friend painted this, think of the awesomeness

My Best friend painted this, think of the awesomeness


And I really want to learn how to brew beer.  So I can save money on alcohol by making my own alcohol so I can be an efficient fucking alcoholic.

Want to start going to the gym… so I can stand naked in my yard.

If you’re noticing a trend, so am I.  I want to live where no passer-by’s will fucking see me.


But I have to say that my number one goal for living in Louisiana is to make one friend that I can talk to.  It would be nice to have coffee with a friend instead of having coffee alone.

So what are your thoughts?  What are some goals you have for the future?  What is something that you want to do to make yourself a better, happier person?

11 thoughts on “I Have Simple Goals, I Just Complicate Them

  1. I’m like the laziest person in the world but I love making goals and have a pretty decent track record of meeting them. Standing naked in the middle of nowhere would definitely hit my list. I love the house in the woods, reminds me of Barbara Kingsolver’s novel, “Prodigal Summer.” I feel there was some naked woods standing in it.

    • I’ve gone skinny dipping in alaska with a group of friends before (years and years ago of course) and it was almost a mile off the main road. It was great.

      I’m lazy when I’m not working, if that makes sense. But I love to stay busy, which I think makes even less sense.

      • Bahaha, I won’t do it in the south considering there are gators everywhere. But where I lived in Alaska, there were gravel pits that were filled with water from all the snow, so you’d have this perfectly clear lake that was over 100 feet deep and you could almost see to the bottom, it was so clear.

        And YEAH being lazy at home!

      • Wow, that sounds amazing! I’m jealous of your time in Alaska… I’d like to check it out, it looks beautiful from what I’ve seen. Of course… I’m a big baby in the cold so I’d just be hibernating 9 months out of the year.

      • The winters really aren’t that bad, especially if you’re in Juneau. Juneau never gets below ten degrees and never above 65. Very wet though. I was in fairbanks where it can get to -70, but no wind or humidity. In the winter you go outside to be greeted by dancing green lights every night, and in the summer the sun doesn’t go down and you are greeted by the scent of pine and wildflowers.

        I miss it.

      • Fairbanks has the best northern lights and January is the best time to go. I suggest going to the Chena hot springs and soaking in the springs while waiting for the northern lights. You won’t get cold that way

  2. I love your goals. Your goals are amazing. My goal is to sell nearly everything we own over the next three years. Then when the baby boy graduates and goes to college, hubs and I can dump this house and buy something tiny that requires little to no effort to take care of. I’d also like to live in Washington or Colorado so I could be in a good mood every day.

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